Negative Customer Reviews Claim Naked Babies Are Running Amok in a Vegan Restaurant

This is, very unfortunately, not a drill.

Oh, have we got your attention? Which part of the headline was it? Was it “negative reviews?” Was it “vegan restaurant?” Or was it the part about naked babies running wild through a place where food is served and customers (presumably) pay for it?

We’re guessing it’s the pint-sized nudies.

Imagine Vegan Café in Memphis, TN is in the Internet spotlight at the moment, and not for good reason. The chaos began, according to Eater, when one Twitter user found a disturbing and fairly head-turning review of the restaurant online in which the reviewer writes that the café owner's naked 2-year-old jumped onto a table and showed off his “butthole.”

Yes. Butthole.

Now do we have your attention? Well, it gets even weirder.

Because not only did the owner apparently respond to this review, and not only did they not exactly deny that it happened, they instead took the very strange route of failing to see what the issue was.

In one screen-grabbed photograph (the restaurant seems to have taken down its Facebook page and made its Instagram account private), the owners called out the original reviewer, claiming not to want or need that customer's business. And in a comment captured on the post by a Twitter user, the owners appear to write: “if you are uncomfortable with a naked baby then do not come to our restaurant.”

Noted.

At least one other patron took this opportunity to share an issue of their own, citing an even more unsanitary moment in which they claim a baby defecated on the floor.

It’s unclear which of the claims are true and which are the Internet taking an opportunity to pile on a bizarre—like really and truly bizarre—story, but for the sake of both the health inspectors and diners of Memphis, TN, we really hope it’s not as bad as it sounds.

Because it sounds pretty bad.

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